Jealousy is considered as a silent killer as it has already destroyed even the strongest relationship. This particular emotion can trigger emotions such as insecurity, pain, anger, fear, and anxiety. These are the often factors why some relationships ended.
Dr. Helen Fisher's book, which was entitled The Anatomy of Love, talks about jealousy and how it affects relationships. There is a genetic reason behind jealousy, according to Fisher, who is also an anthropologist and human behaviorist.
For females, they tend to be jealous to fend off potential rivals so they (and their progeny) can have more resources and thus a higher chance of survival. As for males, jealousy is a way for them to protect their mate from other males, and therefore have a better chance of passing on their DNA.
Jealousy has a role in mating strategies, said Ariadna Peretz, founder of matchmaking agency Maitre D'ate. However, the adverse effect it has on every relationship should not be ignored.
Peretz highlighted the statistic cited in the book of Fisher: "In records collected in 66 cultures, anthropologists William Jankowiak and Diane Hardgrave found that 88 per cent of men and 64 per cent of women have turned to physical violence when they felt betrayed; indeed, male jealousy is a leading cause of spousal homicide in the United States today."
Jealousy is not a sign of love, Peretz noted. She believed that this is more of a sign of insecurity and fear of rejection. Some people also say that jealousy is a sign of high self-esteem. For instance, when why partner says 'I'm not going to let you treat me this way,' why not consider breakup instead? Peretz said a person could not be changed. It's better just to walk away if you and your partner have different needs and values.
Jealousy could also be a sign to cover unfaithfulness. As per Peretz, some people accused their significant others of being unfaithful, when in fact, it was them who were being unfaithful. Moreover, jealousy can also be a sign of self-protection.
Every human gets jealous at some point. Some interpreted this as a way to show a partner that they need to be protected and cared for. A little bit of jealousy can be healthy in a relationship. But, what is a normal and healthy dose?
"I don't think it is healthy but perhaps if you are aware that you are jealous, you can give yourself time to understand why you are jealous," Peretz explained.
According to the South China Morning Post, jealousy in small doses can be insignificant. However, when it became uncontrolled, jealousy may be destructive and even deadly when it triggers domestic violence. It's important to remember that we don't own a relationship or anyone with whom we share a bond. We also need to remind ourselves that it's not the end of your life when a relationship ends. Be smart and overcome jealousy in your relationship - don't be overcome by it.
