Charles Spencer, Princess Diana's younger brother, allegedly urged Prince Harry to reconsider the speed of his relationship with Meghan Markle before their 2018 wedding, according to royal biographer Tom Bower. The account has resurfaced amid renewed interest in the Spencer family, but a frequently repeated claim that the earl warned Harry three times is not supported by the passage in Bower's book.
In Revenge: Meghan, Harry and the War Between the Windsors, published in 2022, Bower describes an alleged intervention by Spencer after Harry introduced Meghan to relatives and friends of his late mother. The author claims Spencer advised his nephew against rushing into marriage, prompting what Bower characterizes as a "bitter reaction" from Harry.
The distinction between one alleged intervention and three separate warnings rests on the wording of a sentence in the book. Bower writes, "Three times married, Spencer cautioned his nephew to reconsider his haste towards marriage." The opening phrase refers to Spencer's marital history, not the number of occasions on which he spoke to Harry.
The passage does not establish how many conversations took place. Nor has the alleged exchange between Spencer and Harry been independently corroborated in the material available. Bower's account remains a description of private family discussions rather than a publicly verified record.
The renewed attention comes as Spencer publishes Swan Song: Diana, My Sister on September 22, 2026. The memoir revisits his relationship with Diana and the events surrounding her death in 1997, placing the earl and his ties to the royal family back in the spotlight.
Bower's account of Harry's engagement names Diana's sisters, Lady Sarah McCorquodale and Lady Jane Fellowes, as well as her close friend Julia Samuel. He alleges that Harry introduced Meghan to them hoping they would recognize qualities she shared with Diana, but that they did not see the resemblance he expected.
According to Bower, Prince William subsequently asked Spencer to speak to Harry. The author claims Diana's relatives were concerned about how Meghan would adapt to royal life, although those purported concerns and William's alleged involvement have not been independently established.
Harry and Meghan announced their engagement on November 27, 2017, and married at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle, on May 19, 2018. Bower places Spencer's alleged advice during the months preceding the ceremony, when preparations for the wedding were underway.
The book also recounts a separate alleged warning from Meghan's former talent agent, Gina Nelthorpe-Cowne. Bower says she told Meghan that joining the royal family would mean giving up her acting career and claims Meghan dismissed the advice with the words, "Gina, save it."
That exchange, like the purported conversation between Spencer and Harry, is presented through Bower's account rather than a verified transcript. Meghan left acting before becoming a working member of the royal family, and she and Harry later stepped back from their royal duties in 2020.
During the couple's 2021 interview with Oprah Winfrey, Harry acknowledged there had been "obvious signs" before the wedding that Meghan would face difficulties within the royal family. He did not publicly identify Spencer's alleged intervention as one of those signs, and the interview does not independently substantiate Bower's version of events.
Spencer's new memoir has prompted further discussion of his relationships with Diana's sons. In an interview published alongside the book's release, he said he had informed William and Harry about the memoir at the same time and had reassured Harry about how he would be portrayed.
